Lonely Souls

5 years ago, if someone came up to me and asked me about my opinion towards marriage, i would laugh and say it is a waste of time and a burden to every man. But now i see this in a different light. yes like every other person and like a stage in life one must pass thru, i fell in love. i am happy, i mean i was happy. my old way of life began to hunt me. i dunno if it is r=the price i am paying for hurting the different ladies in my life, but what ever the case may be, this price is costly. i finally found someone i was ready to settle down with and i ended up fucking it up with my stupidity. right now i feel like i am hanging on a rope with my weight depending on the index finger. once that finger gets tired, i am gonna fall and scatter to pieces. the girl i love so much now views me a liar and i understand cuz i have in turn lost my essence of existence. she is special and always will remain special. it funny the last time i saw her i was smashing my head into the world and into the mirror.my close friend told me i was stupid and shouldn't have fallen in love in the first place. he said he knew it will never work right from the beginning. but what cud possibly be wrong in this chemistry? Every time i try to call or write i shiver. i remember nadia telling me abt butterflies in her stomach when she is love and i find myself asking aw she felt around me. maybe she had the same feeling in her belly, maybe she felt something stronger. i look into the mirror asking myself why? Why did i end up in some azeri pub and lie i was home. personally i thought i was doing her a favour. so that she will noy=t begin to think i was out with girls. but it all backfired. everything came crashing down. i do not know who i am. i haven't spoken to a lot of people in a while. i just blocked most ppl out. hoping for just the two of us. now i'm the prodigal son with no idea where to go. i have no home because ignored them all. maybe she will have a change of heart. God if that day comes i will hold her so tight u will think it is a billion dollars. the life a lonely soul inn Baku is a train heading to the end of the track. what happens after we will never know

The Passion of Depression

Sometimes when u decide to throw your heart into a basket, u spend so much time getting excited and forget to carry the basket before the blood drains out. i look at my past and laugh at my silly mistakes. the wrong steps i along the line. "i feel like dying" has become more than a song and maxwell seems to fade away. hoping it turns around but how can i proof innocence when i am already categorized. My past begins to hurt like a starving mosquito from Africa . Yes i plucked some flowers in my early days that doesn't mean the bee should continue to sting me or the owner scream at me. i moved on and found a garden where i could be forever. Well the mind started to run and i decided to be nice but that led to a fire which was hard to quench. just when the plants start growing another fire started. the flower seems to think i don't care because i have other ones. but i never went near other flowers or even plucked them. now i'm standing outside the garden getting worried. don't know what i would do if i see someone else near the flower.i have become a fool amongst others. some tell me i am stupid and dumb. wait isn't that almost the same. Will sit here by the fence and hope that the flower calls out to me. emmm hope is but a lie and we chooseto believe it

The Rights to think

Yesterday, i had two groups of students. a conversation class i mean. and come to think of it, they both had completely different abstract ideas. some of them were good, but it got me thinking. Azerbaijan has a small population and yet very diverse background. some families raise their kids based on tradition and others allow them raise them selves. now the kids decide to listen,pretend to listen or just tell them off. Due to this system, some people end up making decisions based on what the last person did and how people react to it. they tend to lose the art of creativity.let me put this way. Some time ago i was asking a general question. and it goes like this " if u had 5 million AZN, what would u do with it?" the first person talked about a house, cars, travelling around the world. the next person said the same thing and it continued until a 14 year old boy said he would use his money on a huge nuclear weapon and create a sense of security for his people. after him, ideas started changing to investments, jobs, education etc. to me, it was indirectly telling me that if he had not spoken about the nuclear weapons, the whole class would have spoken on cars and leisure and just 5 percent will actually plan to spend it on something more useful. Well the class isn't the only place this happens. it is everywhere. i can't just jump into the big business ideas here in Azerbaijan because it is not my place. this is the internet wow. okay i will like to understand how a sports minister gets a contract to build a hospital when we still have the ministry of health or why two young boys are thrown in prison when the whole public knows whose fault it is. Well i'm not trying to make a direct statement which i already did ha ha but i will love to see people think for themselves. you don't want to end up like most americans. they allow the entertainment industry mess up their minds. How? 8 out of 10 people know paris hilton but don't know the capital of france, they know the all actors and actresss but don't know the president of canada or even the governors of most states. they know america is fight a war but don't know innocent women and children are also killed on daily bases. except the sep 11, 68 american die from terrorist act each year while over a 100,000 die from obesity and smoking each year. When did people stop thinking. it is so cool to have GQ magazines, Cosmopolitan or Istiot on your hand and read it on the bus, home etc but u are automatically a freak or a weirdo if you decide to carry your chemistry book or history book. Why did they not put chemistry magazine in the market. Spending millions on advertisements each year. well advertise the schools. In conclusion,i would say we are losing our rights to think. soon the people in power will think for us and we will be like a flock of sheep waiting to be directed home
Vincent Teku 9;17 am Oct 18 2009

Wind of change

Tear drops could feel a cup
money could put u on top
lets face the reality
we all need change
when i think of it i am lucky
u are lucky, we are lucky
i sit at home complaining to myself
wanting to go out for drinks
wanting to buy that nice shirt
wanting to change my mobile phone
but there are people who don't have what we have
they have no parents, no homes, no food
no education, no freedom, no life
it is sad but true
we are tearing apart
we should come together to help those really in need
i am not bothered by what they say
call me that black boy on the street
the kid from africa
it still doesn't change a thing
people are out there being killed, tortured, raped
they are the ones i should be worried about
no we should be worried about
we try to hide by listening to the hottest tracks
or watching movies
watch the news
look at the wars
from sri lanka to Gaza
from south america to africa
pirates at seas
threats of nuclear wars
financial crisis
we are deeply in need of change
we can be optimistic
put our heads together and make it a better place
lets create the wind of change
afterall the word impossible should be extinct
and let unity be the essence of our existence

The Truth

A man once told me
for every step u take in life
there are rewards and consequences
it doesn't matter if it's good or bad
so for every mistake i made in the past
i knew that one day i would suffer the consequence
and for every right path i made
i knew i would rip the fruit
as a matter of fact
if we all wanna face the truth
life is not as hard as it seems
we are sometimes too young to understand
or too playful to notice
we are the future
the next generation will depend on us
let's drop the hatred at the door
hug and shake hands
and one day we will all have a better future
we can control time and not allow time control us
we can be pioneers and not just followers
freedom of speech is a powerful weapon
love is a strong contract
living in peace and harmony is the dream of the masses
why don't we all begin to choose how path wisely
don't let ur beliefs bring in division
it's easy to break a stick, but not a bunch at the same time
united we stand, divided we fall
your future is in your hands

Baku Nights

Having a night in baku
is like a new adventure
knowing where to go in baku
is not meant for the amateur
Phoenix bar is the starting point
where roma playsthe nicest joint
then u get pretty hungry
and that my friend makes me angry
run down to champions bar
where pizza is perfect with beer so far
now more live bands
shh head to the corner bar
small but with a large crowd
like a family having a night out
time for more drinkks huh
the night not over yet
but u feel like dancing i bet
in as much as i hate to say this
crossroads will be the dancing studio
well u in if u not black or azeri
lets face it, they say we cause more troubles
if u lucky to leave early
u might catch a beer in strangers
two sexy ladies being nice to u
red lion is only a second option
not so comfy for me i guess
refresh is where ur money runs flat
looking for something extra
well that's my little secret
cuz sometimes baku nights can be special
in a much more different way
beer, cigarrettes a girl and a good movie to watch at home
saves the wallet, keeps the energy
just bored that's all
dunno why i thought of this